Why Paul Skenes Should Be Every Man’s Hero

Paul Skenes has the perfect life, maybe other than the fact that he’s on the Pittsburgh Pirates…

For those of you who weren’t on social media, I want to highlight this recent GQ article featuring the Gen Z power couple of Livvy Dunne, social media and gymnastics sensation, and the man who I now like to call “THE DAWG”, ace pitcher for the Pittsburgh Pirates, and reigning National League Rookie of the Year, Paul Skenes. I want to take this time to highlight just what makes Paul “THE DAWG” going forward.

Before we do that, we might as well just keep showing some photos from this article first:

Gosh darnit, those are some breathtakingly spectacular photos. Okay, let’s talk about Paul Skenes now.

You know what, fuck it, here’s some more photos you want to see I’m sure:

WOOF WOOF

Okay now it’s time to get down to serious business: why Paul should be every man’s hero!

I like to get right to the point keep things short and simple, so here are 5 bullet points as to why Paul Skenes SHOULD be your hero:

1) Any man that chooses Honeycombs as their cereal of choice in a GQ magazine, shoot, HERO! (Refer back to top of page)

2) When your MLB debut card is so valuable, that you’re extremely hot girlfriend is willing to offer up a day in the suite with her watching her man toss 7 scoreless innings, HERO! (Livvy Dunne: For The Boys)

3) When your Sports Illustrated supermodel girlfriend is also an NCAA champion in gymnastics, and she can maneuver like this, HERO! (Boys, you know what I’m talking about…)

4) When you and your smart, funny, kind, athletic, and so smoking hot that it’s hard to look at girlfriend can get all access passes to Death Valley football games, HERO! (If they had a sex tape it would HAVE to be called LSU After Dark right?)

5) If you can throw a baseball 100 mph, HERO!

Now I know, Paul Skenes has the greatest life that any of us can dream of being a 22-year-old pitcher phenom that can throw 100 mph, coming off rookie of the year, is likely going to be a first ballot Hall of Famer, and happens to have his college sweetheart be Livvy Dunne, there is one con to being Paul Skenes: he plays for the Pittsburgh Pirates

A plane carrying a banner urging Pirates owner Bob Nutting to sell the team flew over PNC Park on Friday ahead of Pittsburgh's home opener against the New York Yankees. The banner also included a link to a website urging fans to find ways to protest.

The Pirates have just four, yes FOUR winning seasons and three playoff berths since Nutting took over as owner in January 2007. For those of you that aren’t great at math, that’s 28 losing seasons in 32 years. The club has finished last or next to last in the NL Central each of the last year years, and the organization did little in free agency to boost an offense that ranked the worst in the majors last season.

Owners in sports have notoriously been the worst people in the world, and what Bob Nutting is trying to do right now with Paul Skenes is to take our hero and make him play for an incompetent franchise. I for one will not let that happen.

So to make yourself feel better about Paul Skenes having to play for the Pittsburgh Pirates, just scroll back up and go through some of those lovely photos that brings smiles to anyone’s face, man or woman.

This post is a copyright of Big Screen Sports