Edmonton Gets An NFL, MLB, and NBA franchise

What a wonderful world we would live in if we had 4 major sports teams in this city...

First off, no, Edmonton is NOT getting an MLB, NFL, or NBA franchise anytime soon. This was just a thought experiment that popped into my brain after my 3rd free office coffee and 4th voicemail ignored at work today while waiting for Game 3 puck drop tonight.

Our Edmonton Oilers are working towards a second straight year of being the Western Conference participant in the Stanley Cup Final and the city is already BUZZING with excitement. I'm sitting here dedicating all my work hours and available daydreaming time solely to our Edmonton Oilers. Then the thought came in my mind: what if we had 4 major sports teams to root for?

Don't get me wrong, I love rooting for our Oilers and rooting only for them with all my heart, but the idea of being able to spread that sports fandom love around to 3 other pro sports teams would be amazing. Living in a city like New York, Chicago, Los Angeles would be fascinating to have 4 teams to root for and have year round excitement of playoffs and title winning aspirations.

So I asked our friend ChatGPT to help create some logos for our down-the-road new franchises:

NFL - Edmonton Mammoths

Not sure where ChatGPT researched this team name, but I lowkey love it. This Mammoths team you KNOW is going to win battles in the trenches with big ol' corn-fed offensive and defensive lineman. Linebackers that bring the BOOM like Ray Lewis. Even receivers that stand for business and dominate one-on-one battles like Megatron or Julio Jones.

Our head coach MUST BE an absolute unit, almost bowling ball in size, like Mike McCarthy or Andy Reid.

This team will make an immediate impact in the league, making the playoffs 2 of their first 3 years.

MLB - Edmonton Capitols

This ballclub is going to take over ReMax Field (sorry Riverhawks) and show us Edmontonians how to play the game the right way. Small ball, base-to-base hitting approach we'll be instituting in the cages, bunting very much a part of the game as well.

Sure, anyone can have monsters who just hit homeruns, but stringing together hits helps you in the dog days of the summer.

Our starting pitching will be designed to go 6+ innings every night. none of these "bullpen day" bullshit, we don't play like that around here. Righty-lefty matchups are an ABSOLUTE necessity and management will reign down hell in the coaching staff does not abide by that.

Lastly, one of our important signings/acquisitions will be an elite closer who has a stadium-rocking walk out.

NBA - Edmonton Bears

This team is going to play big man ball. We will start our inaugural year going for Nikola Jokic, Giannis, or getting Dwight Howard or DeMarcus Cousins out of retirement. The Edmonton Bears will have the lowest amount of 3 points attempted and highest amount of dunks attempted.

Bring back the old school style of roundball to Edmonton.