Nothing Says Canada Day Party More Than $10,000 Of Red Tassel Vodka

Someone let me know how much bail is, and I’ll post it for him if he can make my Canada Day party…

It’s crazy to sit here and think on the day celebrating our country, that a man out near Fox Lake, Alberta had the genius insight to say to him himself and his friends “don’t worry guys, I got the booze covered for today.”

Over the weekend, a man was pulled over by RCMP carrying 124 bottles of Red Tassel vodka. Now, if you’re younger in age and not part of our generation, you may not know Red Tassel and the effect it has on you and your body. It is boat gasoline. A vodka that even at its cheapest for high school people back in our day, was known as something you didn’t wanna be seen drinking. NASA has been rumoured to use this vodka as propellant for their latest spaceship enterprise launch campaign due to its intense chemical combustion.

What shocks me every time I read this article released by the RCMP, is the fact that my man, who I know I want to be a part of his Canada Day plans no doubt, could’ve stolen or gained possession of just about any sort of alcohol in this entire world and not have made the story as funny as it is. He could’ve stole Captain Morgan, Bacardi, even Silent Sam vodka if needed. But no, he went for Red Tassel. He didn’t steal Ciroc, he didn’t hint at Grey Goose, a pick up truck full of Red Tassel was the end result.

So you may be thinking “well at least he stole a vodka that was red and white in true Canada Day spirit”. But then again, there is always Smirnoff, unilaterally 10 times better and taste and quality than red tassel has ever been in existence.

Again, I don’t wanna fault the man that got pulled over at 8:45 in the morning on a Saturday near Fox Lake Alberta, carrying 124 bottles of vodka, surely on his way to pre-plan for Tuesday festivities with him and the boys. It’s just a slight error in hindsight that we couldn’t have gone with a better quality liquor to STEAL.

If anyone knows what local county jail he is posted up in, please send me the address so I can get in my vehicle this morning and post bail for him so he can get back to his fellow and his Tuesday plan that he dreamt up

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